Lift Off!
Here it is! My first post. It’s a bit meta, no surprise there.
YESSSSS!! I’m celebrating taking the plunge! Leaving the ground! And mixing metaphors!
I’ve been hemming and hawing, procrastinating while at the same time dreaming up all the possibilities, seeing them come to life in my head so clearly. In fact, when I told a friend my goal this week was to write two posts, she said “That’s a lot!” To which I arrogantly replied, “It’s as good as done! All I have left to do is sit down and write them!” She gently brought forth the idea that the muscle it takes to follow through isn’t the same as the muscle that creates ideas. When I sat down to write the first post shortly after our conversation, I realized what she said was true and suddenly felt defeated. That loud brash voice of “I CAN DO ANYTHING!” dissipated and what was left in the gaping void of its absence was a lot of doubt, self judgement, and guilt for being so dang cocksure.
“The awkward, uncomfortable time comes right after the excitement and it feels awful… It’s an FFT, a Fucking First Time!” says Brené Brown talking about FFTs on her podcast Unlocking Us. “Screw it! Go vulnerable or go home, that’s my new motto.”
After a few days of reflection and asking for guidance, what I now realize is that the post I sat down to write wasn’t aligned with my intentions for this blog. I set out to make a space for my rawness, progress, and transparency. Yet, when I sat down to write I wanted to prove something, I wanted to present something polished and acceptable. I wanted to emulate something I’ve seen before. I sat down with some big ego energy when what I want to bring in is big spirit energy, big soul energy!
So here I am, embracing the rawness and newness of this—for real this time! As I said before, this is a practice and I want to treat it as such. With practices, my goal is to show up with love, acceptance, and openness welcoming and exploring whatever else shows up. I don’t always hit the mark (probably because this is often a really lofty goal) but when I do there is MAGIC!
To help stay open and focused, I’m going to begin my practice time with a ritual to realign with my intentions. I’ve also created a checklist to look over before I share anything. The checklist is a living, working list, so it’s sure to grow and shift over time. Here it is right now:
Is this my story to tell?
Am I ready to share this and own it fully in this space? Do I feel called to share it here and now?
Am I honoring myself and the intentions of this space?
Am I honoring everyone involved? If I’m sharing identifying details, do I have consent?
Am I honoring the information and resources in my story? Am I owning what is mine and giving credit where credit is due?
Am I coming from a place of deep truth, love, and trust?
Am I making time and space to honor this as a practice?
Can I say to the best of my knowledge I am sharing with integrity and an intention to serve everyone’s, including my own, highest and best?
Can I genuinely and comfortably answer “no” to these questions:
• Am I trying to prove something that isn’t aligned?
• Am I holding back because of fear?
• Am I compromising the truth to conform or appease?
With this first post, I CONSECRATE & BLESS THIS BLOG. I hereby proclaim this a space of practice and soul sharing, a space of playfulness, joy, and realness. A place to show up and see what happens with genuine curiosity for what is and what can be. This is a reflection of myself and my lived experience, as it happens and as I explore it in more depth. This is a very MaryAnn space. There will be silliness, brightness, darkness, stories, wisdom, mistakes, lessons, works in progress, symbols, collages, a few of my favorite things, opinions, memories, metaphors, and so on! I also acknowledge and honor the backlog within me! There’s a lot I want to share here, a lot I want to get to! With that in mind, I honor time and my own capacity. I trust this will unfold exactly as it is meant to, in perfect time. So it shall be or something even better beyond my wildest dreams!
Let the blogging begin! Onward and upward.
Screenshot of Masterchef / Message from my Guides / High Praise from Gordon Ramsay